when i'm reading a really good book, i find that i start typing in the style the book was written. it's weird and i don't know why i do it, but i am doing it right now. it gradually fades away, but if the book is still fresh in my mind, it starts to pour out of my body through my fingertips. i end up mixing in my own writing style with how the book is and sometimes i think it makes me grow as a writer when i do this. i find things, i lose things, etc etc etc. i once wanted to be a writer, but ideas i always had got too boring for me to keep up with. the original plot would stray and i would get lost in it.

currently i'm reading 'the perks of being a wallflower' and i have always wanted to read it, but just now finally had the opportunity. i'm picky about buying things and i hate borrowing library books sometimes. i fall in love with books and once i do that, i don't return them. i owe the public library closest to my house quite a bit of money..

that aside, i don't know where i was going with this. just that i wanted to write something that wasn't so tragic. i'm still struggling with finding happy things to write about - it seems the stronger my sadness is, the more and more i write. that is because when i am happy, i decide to do other things.

i am also currently deciding on whether or not to becoming a holistic nutritionist.