seeing it as a betrayal yet it was before you met, seeing it as unequal but when in life, has everything and everyone you met been equal to you? forgiving your own faults and self-destruction but not able to forgive her mistakes that are not even mistakes
now tell me, is that equal? she has forgiven you.
she must be perfect for you to accept her. would you still love her if your perception of her completely shattered, and you think, “she has been lying to me this entire time, she has betrayed me,” when in fact you have been betraying her.
altering her own memories and experiences so that she fits you like a hand in a glove, both of you knowing that she is pretending, she is pretending for you.
she has no standards or guidelines for your past, stating what you should have done in order for her to be with you, in order for her to love you..
is the life of this love a tragedy, and the death of it bliss?
wicked child, clutching at my limbs
why do you grin when your fangs draw blood from my skin?
is it proof that my heart, in fact, exists? is there a truth in my blood that you are searching for, somehow thinking that the truth in my words desists? i will lie, then. i will lie again and again, i will save myself from your reckless abandon and your bruising words.
i feel the parasites injecting into my blood stream and i have lost all will to escape
i am afraid of tearing out my veins, despite their fabricated shape
nothing about me is real anymore, yet i think:
what good will i be, if i am dead? what good will i be, caged and beaten into submission?
i guess i am no good at all, unless given your permission.
it's strange that i think that these words i once wrote are quite pretty, despite the pain behind them.
No comments:
Post a Comment