Thursday, August 9, 2012

I'm going to live a good life.


People are always going to hurt me, they make mistakes. The risk in having people close to me is that they have power to hurt me and they will. It happens.
That being said, there is always a choice. I pick who I feel is worth hurting over, who I am willing to let myself be hurt over and who I still want to be around regardless. I have gone through this many times where friends have hurt me and I reacted in a very cold anger – I chose to think it through and ask myself, ‘is this person really worth hurting over if they hurt me in the first place?’ I decided to cut whoever hurt me over and over again out of my life, thinking that it was a good choice. But, something I’ve realized is that I am not the kind of person that holds grudges.  In order for me to stick to my guns and prove being ‘right’, I have to continuously fuel the initial anger and try and stay angry, even when the anger fades into a pain that only makes me miss the person and want to talk it over and fix things. Anger does not last long in me. There’s always a choice – being right, or continuing an important friendship that may very well be on the brinks of death. I want to live my life with no hatred latching onto my heart, no bitterness. I want to be able to forgive those that wrong me and be free of long-lasting rage.

However, this only applies to people that I actually care about, like, and feel that they are worth hurting over (even if they are not). Sometimes friendship can get sour. I find out things about a person that I never saw before, qualities that I don’t want to deal with because that kind of pain is constant – it’s the kind of pain that eventually results in being annoyance and anger, leaving me with a very low opinion of the said person. It’s sad, but it happens. It will happen again and again.

Just got to pick the people I want to deal with and pick the people that I don't want to have anything to do with. 

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