silence is better than bullshit

i suppose it's a bit confusing.

you whine and bitch about how i never spoke to you during those weeks - when you, yourself, have not either. you tell me that i have put so many things before our friendship and that i am not putting in any effort - why the fuck should i? when you are the one who started to ignore my messages, when you are the one who is always only thinking of yourself. you blow up issues mercilessly, issues that should not even be in existence. there are so many things that i have grown to detest you for.

i suppose i'm a bit confused because here you are, pointing your finger at me and accusing me of things that are not true - then you seem to forget about your words of what 'friendship' is and fail to message me as you said you would. it's been two days. you spout accusations and put words in my mouth and TELL me what i'm thinking and TELL me how i'm contradicting myself and TELL me what my priorities are. who are you? explaining anything to you is pointless - you have your own view of my words, my actions, my anything. your grip to that idea is very tight and what's the point of trying to loosen a hold that should not even be there?

what the actual fuck?

i can say, with ease, that i do not care about the direction this friendship goes - up or down, it does not matter. i want people in my life that won't bring me down, that i can be myself around, that won't take me for granted. i want people in my life that don't care only for themselves.

i have grown to be very forgiving and easy going - but i am not sure if it is even possible with you. i am not sorry.

i am ranting because i do not want to fill anyones ears up with these terrible words, i don't want to say this to the person in question because no good will come of it. my lack of action, i guess, speaks for itself.