i have been filled with odd anxiety that tenses up my muscles and makes my spine curl up, my dinosaur bones creating hills along my back. i have been lying awake and staring at nothing in the darkness, my restless mind chattering so loudly that sadness swirls in my lungs and poisonous feelings rise like ocean water in my chest, drowning the voice of reason. the demons explode from behind my eyes and escape from between my lips and through my tear ducts, tormenting me with images i wish i could forget. knowing i am stronger now because of them is no comfort, my bones contort and my rib cage is folded up, trying to hide me away but there is nothing there but myself. i am tortured by the demons voice that sounds exactly like mine, hissing words in my ear of my worst fears and promising they will come true because it is what i deserve. i lay restless, my heart scalding and i swear my wounds re-opened from swelling with so much self-loathing but i know i am being deceived. just when i think it will never be over, he’s sitting there waiting for me. his limbs reach out for me and hold me close to him, even his smell is chasing the demons away and i can see them circling, waiting for a chance to sink their fangs into my skin but he never leaves me. i sigh and the poison washes out easily, i can feel my heart beating strong and there are no open wounds, no pulsing gashes. i doze wrapped up in his love, my soul at peace.