despite recent events, my mind is at ease.

today, for the first time in a long time (in social situations, anyway) i felt heard. i felt my voice reach listening ears and saw the way their eyes lit up when they thought something i had said was funny. my opinions were appreciated and i had felt comfortable enough to say whatever came to mind. that rarely happens. usually, i have all walls up, my shoulders are tense, my throat tight with words that i don't have.

but this time was different. i'm not used to being considered, nor am i used to having people take interest in my life and ask me questions and actually care. because of this, i opened up a little. i may not have made life long friends today or anything, but i know that it is possible in the future for me to do just that.

i just haven't been around people who value me at all in the past and now that it's happening, i feel very comfortable and at ease.

in other news: i can't wait to see my love tonight.