life is a tornado.
a whirlwind of chaos amid a tangled up sort of beauty. an obvious yet dangerous kind, gazed upon in awe and fear all at once.
i stand in the eye of the storm, everything whipping all around me much too fast for me to recognize. i catch glimpses of things in the debris and one moment my heart is soaring and another, plummeting. i curl up, waiting for the feeling to pass. eyes tired, limbs sore, my soul attempting to catch it's breath.

my thoughts stray as the wind whistles in my ears: i want to relinquish control at times, to let go of my grasp of reality. some days i feel like packing a single suitcase and traveling the world with hardly any belongings would be the best way to live life. to give up the materialistic world where we fill empty rooms with things we don't need and overlook what is really important. have humans forgotten what love is? why is it so rare?
maybe one day i will have the courage to do something like this.

but for now, i feel weak to the will of society. forced to fit in with those that fiddle with their newest piece of technology, talk of people that we don't know, kiss those they do not love. all for the sake of not becoming lonely.

i wake from these thoughts, suddenly filled with a sense of clarity. yet still too tired, too weak, too afraid to do anything.

maybe i'm just really sad sometimes and this is the only way i feel i can escape it. to let go of the life that i know and live something unfamiliar and terrifyingly beautiful.